More bitter orange
Declan Chellar December 14th, 2008
I was in the supermarket today and as I passed the biscuit section I felt the urge to buy some Orange Pim’s.
To my delight, I saw them only feet away. I approached atremble but as my hand reached out for that box of spongey, chocolatey oranginess, I saw a notice that said “Second Pack Half Price”. Imagine my delight! Now I had no choice but to buy two boxes, for to buy only one would be a waste of my hard-earned money.
But anticipation soon turned to disappointment when I realised the offer only applied to Raspberry Pim’s and Chocolate Pim’s. Orange Pim’s were not discounted.
This is where their marketing plan fell to pieces. Moments before I was eager to buy Orange Pim’s, now I knew that if I did, each delicious, mouthwatering bite would be marred by the bitter twist of the blade of irony burying itself deep in my nethers. I walked away, empty-handed, cursing the day I had ever heard of Orange Pim’s.
Or maybe I’m just weird.
Nah!
Eh hello? These ‘PIMS’ of which you write? Are they not simply a pallid imitation of the sublime, marvellous and triumphally perfect Jaffa Cake?
Ah that’s a shame. Orange Pims are my favourite too. Am eating only orange tomato soup and drinking orangeade at the moment…
No, I’m not ribbing you (!) Ouch. That’s a joke. Take a peek at ‘ageing ungracefully’ but be prepared for an ‘orrible sight. Namely me. I’ve uploaded a photo….
Robo:
They are indeed, but you try getting your hands on a Jaffa Cake in Las Rozas de Madrid.
Although, bizarrely, you can get Jacob’s Fig Rolls from Tallaght in Las Rozas.
Who knew?
Geri:
I’ve posted a get well comment on your blog.
I wonder – what if you told them you were colour blind?
Or allergic to every flavour but Orange?
Would that be ethical?
Ah, orange/raspberry colour blindness, that well-known Y-chromosome-linked genetic defect!