Letting go of the past – Part 2

May 2nd, 2008


Bottom fallen out of your world?

Go on a five-day, liquids-only, detoxifying programe and let the world fall out of your bottom!

Well, here I am and I have just broken my fast with an apple. This afternoon I get to have a light salad and some rice. Tonight, something similarly light, but I also get to have some fish. As of tomorrow, I can eat normal amounts.

In order not to offend your sensibilities, I shall use the following euphamisms to describe the last few days..

Panama Canal: colon

Traffic: faeces

Klingons: a combination of mucoid plaque and impacted “traffic” that has been in the “Panama Canal” for a very long time.

So considering I am fairly regular anyway, I should easily fall into the 24-72 hour digestive cycle, which means that by the morning of day four, there should have been no traffic in the Panama Canal. But you wouldn’t believe the number of Klingons that got flushed out on Wednesday morning. I was horrified. And bizarrely fascinated. It shocked me that such stuff had been docked in the Panama Canal, possibly for years, preventing nutrients from passing through while constantly seeping toxins instead.

On the morning of day 5, I didn’t imagine there could possibly be any more, so imagine my surprise when an even bigger Klingon fleet was flushed out into the open (and somewhat uncomfortably this time). Still, the sensation of healthy emptiness was so good that for about three seconds I considered never eating again.

By the way, during the week I made a broth (allowed in the programme) by boiling carrots, celery and onions and drinking the liquid with a little miso added. You have no idea how delicious celery smells when you haven’t eaten in three days!

It’s day six and that apple tasted gooooood this morning. All indications are that the Panama Canal is clear of traffic and Klingons.

I think I will avoid mucous producing foods, or at least minimise my intake of the delicious ones. I have seen the result and it just is not pretty.

So would I recommend it? Absolutely!

Here’s a thought for you… if all of that stuff was inside me, then it’s inside YOU.

2 Responses to “Letting go of the past – Part 2”

  1. Paraic Hegartyon 02 May 2008 at

    I hate to think what the post would have been like without the euphemisms!

  2. Declan Chellaron 04 May 2008 at

    It would have been shite.

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