Rogue Trader’s Performance Review

January 28th, 2008


Alleged rogue trader, Jerome Kerviel, is being investigated for fraud by police in France after supposedly losing €5 billion of Bank Societé Generale’s (his employer) money. It is important to note that no charges have been brought against him yet. Still, I wonder what his final performance appraisal might look like.

State your understanding of your main duties and responsibilities.
Eviscerate my employer, help plunge the world into recession.

Has the past year been good/bad/satisfactory or otherwise for you, and why?
2007 was full of learning opportunities and I am confident that I will take those exeriences forward and make myself a stronger, more effective employee.

What do you like and dislike about working for this organisation?
I like spending lots of money. Dislike having to do all that accounting stuff.

What elements of your job do you find most difficult?
Keeping track.

What elements of your job interest you the most, and least?
Spending money. Keeping account of it.

What do you consider to be your most important aims and tasks in the next year?
I would say my main aim for the next year is to keep my back to the wall in the shower block.

What action could be taken to improve your performance in your current position by you, and your boss?
Any action at all would be an improvement. Perhaps triggering an earthquake in downtown Paris?

What kind of work or job would you like to be doing in one/two/five years time?
I hope to work my way up to the post room or the library. Just as long as I’m not slopping out the latrines or the shower block.

What sort of training/experiences would benefit you in the next year? Not just job-skills – also your natural strengths and personal passions you’d like to develop – you and your work can benefit from these.
Any legal training at all would be useful. Running and hand-to-hand combat also spring to mind.

Score your own capability or knowledge in the following areas in terms of your current role requirements (1-3 = poor, 4-6 = satisfactory, 7-9 = good, 10 = excellent).
1. Commercial judgement – 9

2. Product/technical knowledge – 7

3. Time management – 7

4. Planning, budgeting and forecasting – 9

5. Reporting and administration – 9

6. Communication skills – 8

7. Delegation skills – 7

8. IT/equipment/machinery skills – 7

9. Meeting deadlines/commitments – 8

10. Creativity – 9

11. Problem-solving and decision-making – 8

12. Team-working and developing others – 7

13. Energy, determination and work-rate – 9

14. Steadiness under pressure – 9

15. Leadership and integrity – 8

16. Adaptability, flexibility, and mobility – 8

17. Personal appearance and image – 8

18. Corporate responsibility and ethics – 10

3 Responses to “Rogue Trader’s Performance Review”

  1. Muufmannon 29 Jan 2008 at

    So…. if he LOST EUR 5 BN then someone(s), somewhere MADE EUR 5BN. I bet THEY get a nice bonus and a sparkling shiny review.

  2. Declan Chellaron 29 Jan 2008 at

    Right!

    So from an economic stability point of view, so what if he lost €5 billion? Someone else made €5 billion, so it should all balance out.

    Good thing I’m not an economist.

    Or a city trader.

  3. Muufmannon 30 Jan 2008 at

    Its all a money go round. The trick is to persuade some of it to stop where you are for a while

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