I don’t pimp my friends

June 22nd, 2010


I don’t care if you are UNICEF, I don’t pimp my friends.

So I donate a fixed amount to UNICEF every month, it’s no big deal and I am not some playboy philanthropist. That being said, I do expect the minimum of respect from UNICEF for my gesture. Respect means, for example, not phoning me up and asking me for the phone numbers of my friends. There is an unwritten law about the contact details of friends and acquaintances, which is that you don’t give them out without permission from the friend in question. If you didn’t know that, then you are a bit of a gobshite (see definition 2 here) and you need to read the unwritten book.

Seriously, UNICEF, you do great work, but what kind of a bollocks (see definition 3 here) would I be to hand out my friends’ phone numbers to any company or charity who wanted to grab their money?

That’s right: a big, fat bollocks.

So I don’t care how many babies you are trying to save, when you call me up to ask me for my friends’ phone numbers, I don’t hear:

Could I speak to Mr. T.G. Nobby, please?

I hear:

We think you are a BIG FAT BOLLOCKS!

This is just not me!

This is just not me!

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