Archive for July, 2008

Air locks on airliners

July 26th, 2008

Airliners should have airlocks, in other words two sets of doors. That way when drunk, violent scangers try to open the door mid-flight, they get the inner door open, the flight attendants close that behind them, and then they can open the outer door as wide as they want without compromising the cabin pressure.

Makes perfect sense to me.

Radovan Karadzic: healer

July 23rd, 2008

The story of the capture of Radovan Karadzic is all over the news.

Just to remind you, Mr. Karadzic is the former leader of the Bosnian Serbs and he has been indicted by the United Nations for war crimes and genocide.

What amazes me is that he has been practising alternative medicine in Belgrade. It seems he has also written articles for “Healthy Life” magazine.

A key feature of many “alternative” therapies is preventative medicine, so I imagine Mr. Karadzic gave his patients such advice as exercise regularly, eat plenty of fresh vegetables, avoid excess alcohol, stress and snipers’ bullets, try to avoid mortar fire and above all, if groups are being rounded up for massacre, it’s best not to be part of that.

This is where…

Lesbos locals lose lesbian appeal

July 22nd, 2008

Lesbos locals lose lesbian appeal

I’m confused.

Surely only about half the locals of Lesbos island had lesbian appeal in the first place. And how did they suddenly lose it?

I am disappointed with the BBC, though. They almost got the whole alliteration. They should have gone with…

Lesbos locals lose lesbian litigation.

My talents are wasted.

Dog rescues woman from kangaroo

July 19th, 2008

It would appear that a dog in Australia came to the rescue of its owner when she was attacked by a kangaroo.

I can see lightbulbs going off over movie producers’ heads everywhere…

I’m sick of it!

July 18th, 2008

I get about fifty spam comments a day in my comment moderation queue and I’m sick of it, so I have activated a plug-in called Challenge to see if it can keep the spambots at bay. Let me know how it works out, particularly if you think it isn’t working properly.

Adding multiple profiles to iTunes

July 11th, 2008

So more than one member of your household has an iPod but you only have one computer, so only one installation of iTunes. You don’t want Gloria Estefan’s greatest hits on your iPod and your wife/girlfriend/partner/flatmate doesn’t want want The Buzzcocks’ “Singles Going Steady” on hers.

Up to now, each time you updated your iPods, you have had to go in to iTunes and select/de-select songs depending on what melodies you wanted on your player what crap you didn’t. What a laborious pain in the arse, especially when you go in and find she has just been there and de-selected all of your songs!

Well, I am here to rescue you, but this only works for Windows users. As I don’t own a Mac, I don’t care about you Mac users. Nothing personal. I just have no feelings for you. You can try it though. It might work.

Step 1

Your iTunes libraries are held in the following location: “My Documents\My Music\iTunes”

Copy this folder…

… and rename the copy…

Now you have two iTunes folders and therefore two iTunes libraries.

Step 2

Hold down the SHIFT key… 

(that image is for any technopeasants out there)

THEN click on the iTunes icon…

DO NOT TAKE YOUR FINGER OFF THE SHIFT KEY UNTIL YOU SEE THIS DIALOGUE BOX…

Click the “Choose Library” button and make sure you are looking at the “My Music” folder.

You will see your original “iTunes” folder and the new “Her iTunes” folder…

Select your original iTunes folder and iTunes will launch itself.
Step 3

In iTunes, check all the songs you want on your iPod and uncheck all the songs you don’t want. Then plug in your iPod and let iTunes update it.

Now repeat steps 2 and 3, but this time select the folder you named “Her iTunes” and plug in her iPod.

Once you have done that, you are now effectively maintaining separate libraries. Now each time you go into your library, you will see that the songs you like are checked, regardless of what she has been doing in her library.

The neat thing about this is that when you copied your original iTunes folder, the actual music files weren’t copied, just the libraries that refer to them, so you don’t end up with two copies of the songs themselves. As you add new songs, they become available to both libraries. You can also have as many libraries as you want.

Don’t forget to back up your iTunes folders now and again.

There you have it, a quick and painless way to manage your libraries for multiple iPods. It’s actually not that easy to find this information on the Web.

You’re welcome.

Demographics

July 10th, 2008

Gema gave me an iPod for my birthday, which was great.

However, when I went to register it, I found that I am now labelled differently.

That’s right. I am no longer aged 35 to 44. I am now aged 45 to 54.

If I wasn’t middle aged before, I certainly am now.The good news is that I am one of the youngest members of that particular demographic.

Got to look on the bright side. Isn’t that what people have to do more and more as they get older?

Teenager finds bat asleep in bra

July 9th, 2008

Teenager finds bat asleep in bra

Usually my “Funny Headlines” category is for headlines that could be interpreted in a funny way.

But there is no pun in this headline, she really did find a bat in her bra, but only after she got to work.

I bet the bat felt a right tit!

Razor Clams

July 7th, 2008

I just thought I would share with you a recipe from Spain for Razor Clams.

Bear in mind that I am an intuitive chef and rarely measure anything.

Ingredients:

  • A pile of razor clams
  • Some fresh, chopped garlic
  • Some fresh, chopped parsely
  • A little olive oil
  • Lots of beer

Instructions:

  • Rinse the razor clams in water.
  • Heat the bejaysus out of the oil in a large frying pan
  • Feck the clams into the pan

  • When the clams open up as if to scream “No! No! Dear God, no!” (see picture above), feck the parsely and garlic all over the little bastards.

  • Cook for a further two minutes (I put a lid on the pan and tossed them about a bit)
  • Transfer onto a plate

  • Serve with cold beer on your sun-soaked patio in Madrid

  • Eat, trying to ignore the fact that they look like giant worms that have each just eaten a mussel

They are actually very nice, if you like shell fish. I was squinting because the sun was in my eyes. I was not grimacing and this is not a nasty trick.

Although they really do look like giant worms that have each just eaten a mussel.

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