Archive for May, 2008

Sharon S-Doh!-ne

May 31st, 2008

It is reported that during an interview in Cannes, Sharon Stone spoke about the recent earthquake in China and China’s treatment of Tibet.

She wondered out loud whether the earthquake was some kind of karmic retribution for China’s treatment of Tibetans.

I have to wonder about the mind that considers the deaths of tens of thousands of innocents to be an appropriate balance to the behaviour of a non-democratic government.

It seems Ms. Stone later regretted her remarks.

“I had absolutely no intention of saying that, which I did say, and now, looking at it on the tape, I look like a complete ding-dong.”

Actually, she looked great. She just sounded like a ding-dong, not least because of the barely coherent way in which she enunciated the rubbish that came out of her mouth.

So really she was more concerned about how she came across, rather than recognising that what she said was insensitive, cruel, ignorant in its understanding of what the term “karma” actually means in Buddhism and, perhaps one could say, utter bollocks.

She regretted that her words had been misunderstood. Misunderstood?

“Tens of thousands of innocent people have died, but that’s fair enough because their government are a shower of bastards.” Hard to misunderstand that.

What song is this? #01

May 26th, 2008

You’ll find the answer here if you are frustrated or lazy.

Musing #31

May 22nd, 2008

There is no such thing as imaginary pain. All pain is in your mind.

Dear God…

May 16th, 2008

Considering most people in the world believe in you in some way or other, surely that means most murders are committed by your followers.

How does that square up?

Answers on a postcard from the Vatican or via burning bush, please.

Great tits cope well with warming

May 10th, 2008

Great tits cope well with warming

I know it’s exceedingly puerile, but all I can say is PHNAR!

It’s nice to see that one can work for the BBC but still have a Viz sense of humour.

Sickophant

May 4th, 2008

It has been a while since I added a new word.

Sickophant: (n) someone who takes fawning behaviour to a pathological level

Fly, child of mine! Be free!

Letting go of the past – Part 2

May 2nd, 2008

Bottom fallen out of your world?

Go on a five-day, liquids-only, detoxifying programe and let the world fall out of your bottom!

Well, here I am and I have just broken my fast with an apple. This afternoon I get to have a light salad and some rice. Tonight, something similarly light, but I also get to have some fish. As of tomorrow, I can eat normal amounts.

In order not to offend your sensibilities, I shall use the following euphamisms to describe the last few days..

Panama Canal: colon

Traffic: faeces

Klingons: a combination of mucoid plaque and impacted “traffic” that has been in the “Panama Canal” for a very long time.

So considering I am fairly regular anyway, I should easily fall into the 24-72 hour digestive cycle, which means that by the morning of day four, there should have been no traffic in the Panama Canal. But you wouldn’t believe the number of Klingons that got flushed out on Wednesday morning. I was horrified. And bizarrely fascinated. It shocked me that such stuff had been docked in the Panama Canal, possibly for years, preventing nutrients from passing through while constantly seeping toxins instead.

On the morning of day 5, I didn’t imagine there could possibly be any more, so imagine my surprise when an even bigger Klingon fleet was flushed out into the open (and somewhat uncomfortably this time). Still, the sensation of healthy emptiness was so good that for about three seconds I considered never eating again.

By the way, during the week I made a broth (allowed in the programme) by boiling carrots, celery and onions and drinking the liquid with a little miso added. You have no idea how delicious celery smells when you haven’t eaten in three days!

It’s day six and that apple tasted gooooood this morning. All indications are that the Panama Canal is clear of traffic and Klingons.

I think I will avoid mucous producing foods, or at least minimise my intake of the delicious ones. I have seen the result and it just is not pretty.

So would I recommend it? Absolutely!

Here’s a thought for you… if all of that stuff was inside me, then it’s inside YOU.