Declan Chellar December 6th, 2006
I was training in the park this morning and something strange happened… Cecil the Accountant didn’t show up at his usual time. I didn’t think much of it at first. Perhaps he had had a particularly late night with the twins, celebrating his latest motor-cycling victory down the back streets of Shrewsbury. While I was waiting for him to walk past, I noticed a dog with a flashing red light on its collar. Novel, but not particularly strange.
A short while later, another dog went past with a flashing light on the collar. Then another and another. I turned to Rob, my student, and asked him if he had noticed any dogs with flashing collars before today. He said he hadn’t either. What was going on? Was someone selling flashing red lights at the park gates at seven in the morning? It was so unlikely as to be inconceivable. It seemed much more likely to me that aliens were taking over the dogs of Shrewsbury.
No, I was being silly. Or so I thought until I saw Mrs. Brady’s two dogs… with someone else! Something was amiss. First Cecil is late, then the dogs all start wearing strange collars, then the Schnauzers show up without Mrs. Brady.
The only thing that seemed normal was Paperboy. He cycled past at his usual time, providing me with a moment of comfort in the increasing insanity.
A little while later, Mrs. Brady walked past, sans chiens. I turned to Rob again. I asked if it was my imagination… Wasn’t she usually accompanied by those two dogs? He agreed that she was. Things were getting too strange now.
Then a labrador walked past with no flashing red light on its collar. This dog could be trusted. No alien stooge he! But wait… What if the flashing collars were a decoy, a feint, if you will? What if the purpose of the flashing ones was to make us trust only the dogs with the normal collars? Maybe the labrador was a Trojan dog… although I didn’t really see twelve Greeks fitting inside.
Now I didn’t know which dogs to trust. The alien plan was fiendishly clever. Soon we would all be in such a state of confusion that we would be defenceless against them when they finally came.
I thought back over the morning’s chaos. The only really normal thing was Paperboy. He cycled by at his usual time. Then it hit me… He was behind it all! All newspaper magnates are secretly trying to take over the world. He is making his move and convincing us we were about to be invaded by aliens is just the first step.
Don’t watch the skies!
