Archive for the 'Musings' Category

Musing #41

April 11th, 2009

What would happen if you were talking to God on the big, white telephone and you just got his voicemail?

Musing #40

February 19th, 2009

Listening to cool music doesn’t make you cool. People who compose cool music are cool. When you listen to cool music in your car at top volume with the windows down, nobody thinks you’re cool. That’s because you’re a twat.

Musing #39

February 7th, 2009

You are definitely middle-aged when your moles have grey hairs.

Musing #38

February 1st, 2009

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish and he’ll sit on his arse, drinking tea from a flask, for the rest of his life.

Musing #37

January 5th, 2009

If a proctologist is a doctor who specialises in ailments of the of the anus, rectum, and sigmoid colon, what is the term for a doctor who will deal with anything but that?

Musing #36

November 7th, 2008

If brain surgery isn’t rocket science and rocket science isn’t brain surgery, how come people think they are so difficult?

Musing #35

October 21st, 2008

I’ve just discovered I’m ambidextrous, but only on my right side.

Musing #34

October 4th, 2008

Other people’s fear and pain are personal experiences that cannot be judged by my measure.

Musing #33

September 11th, 2008

The finiteness of my being knows no bounds.

Musing #32

June 12th, 2008

Do mushrooms feel a sense of irony when they go past their “Sell By” date and funghi start growing on them?

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