Archive for the 'Dear God' Category

Dear God…

December 30th, 2007

If religion is so great, how come there are so many bullies, paedophiles and bigots in the priesthood? Couldn’t You arrange it so that holy water burned their skin? That way they’d be exposed fairly early on. Or maybe You could have people like that turn into pillars of salt when they are two-faced enough to take holy orders. You don’t seem to do much stuff like that any more. You know, biblical stuff.

Dear God…

December 18th, 2007

Does everyone really have a guardian angel? If so, how come so many children across the world die horribly of diarrhoea?

Dear God…

November 19th, 2007

The whole burning in Hell for all eternity thing… it’s a bit unforgiving, isn’t it? I mean, considering You are God, and all.

Answers via e-mail or burning bush, please.

Dear God…

October 22nd, 2007

If you made vampires real, it would go a long way towards raising your credibility and it would give young people something better to do on a Saturday night than get drunk and fight, although they would be fighting vampires.

They would also be useful at Lourdes airport so that security staff could check whether holy water really is holy.

Dear God…

September 28th, 2007

How come people who think You are great (or is that Great?) so often kill other people who also think You are Great*?

* Capitalisation just in case. Well, you never know.

Dear God…

September 15th, 2007

How come You let married people re-marry when one of them dies? Aren’t their souls still married after death? Or is it just their bodies that get married?

Dear God…

August 31st, 2007

I am reliably informed that holy water doesn’t actually burn the skin of sinners. Good to know.

Seeing as it can’t handle disease either, what’s it for?

Dear God…

August 29th, 2007

What’s the story with pork?

Dear God…

August 6th, 2007

If free will really was Your idea, how come so many of your followers get upset when people actually exercise it.

If it wasn’t Your idea, how come I seem to have it?

Answers via e-mail or burning bush, please.

Dear God…

July 30th, 2007

How come Your followers can’t share Jerusalem?

Answers via e-mail or burning bush, please.

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