Fireworks thrown at PSNI by fans
Declan Chellar March 28th, 2009
Fireworks thrown at PSNI by fans
Fans of the PSNI clearly failing miserably in their attempts to show their appreciation.
Declan Chellar March 28th, 2009
Fireworks thrown at PSNI by fans
Fans of the PSNI clearly failing miserably in their attempts to show their appreciation.
Declan Chellar March 28th, 2009
G20 protesters face police with Tasers
How the hell did the G20 protesters get their hands on Tasers?
Declan Chellar December 6th, 2008
Irish Republic recalls all pork
I have trouble remembering what I had for breakfast yesterday, yet they expect us to believe that everyone in the Republic of Ireland is going to remember every bit of pork they have ever eaten?
I have been living outside of Ireland for some years now, but I am surprised I have not heard of any plans to inaugurate Pork Remembrance Day.
Declan Chellar October 23rd, 2008
Drug may reverse MS brain damage
I don’t normally include headlines about serious topics in my “Funny Headlines” section, and MS is a very serious subject.
But I’m afraid I couldn’t resist thinking about the brain damage I cause myself by bashing my head against the desk every time MS Internet Explorer crashes, or whenever I try to use numbering in MS Word, or whenever something crashes and I click to send the details to MS hoping to receive back some advice as to what I should do to resolve the issue – advice that never comes.
Declan Chellar July 22nd, 2008
Lesbos locals lose lesbian appeal
I’m confused.
Surely only about half the locals of Lesbos island had lesbian appeal in the first place. And how did they suddenly lose it?
I am disappointed with the BBC, though. They almost got the whole alliteration. They should have gone with…
Lesbos locals lose lesbian litigation.
My talents are wasted.
Declan Chellar July 9th, 2008
Teenager finds bat asleep in bra
Usually my “Funny Headlines” category is for headlines that could be interpreted in a funny way.
But there is no pun in this headline, she really did find a bat in her bra, but only after she got to work.
I bet the bat felt a right tit!
Declan Chellar July 6th, 2008
Two arrests in Turkey ‘coup plot’
The damned poultry is at it again!
No one would have believed in the early years of the twenty-first century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man’s and yet as mortal as his own; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns, they were scrutinised and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinise the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. With infinite complacency, men went to and fro over this globe about their little affairs, serene in their assurances of their empire over matter. It is possible that the infusoria under the microscope do the same. No one gave a thought to the turkey farms as sources of human danger, or thought of them only to dismiss the idea of intelligent life upon them as impossible or improbable. It is curious to recall some of the mental habits of those departed days. At most, men fancied there might be other intelligences on the farms, perhaps inferior to themselves and ready to welcome a missionary enterprise. Yet across the gulf , minds that are to our minds as ours are to those of the beasts that perish, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic, regarded our world with envious eyes, and slowly and surely drew their plans against us.
Declan Chellar July 6th, 2008
Pope to take a break down under
I thought the Pope was already celibate.
Phnar!
Declan Chellar July 2nd, 2008
Calm urged after Turkey arrests
Those turkeys, they get cocky in the summer because Christmas is far away, then they get boisterous and wild (geddit?) and the police have to be brought in.
Or maybe they were just pissed off over the Turkey book insult.
Declan Chellar June 22nd, 2008
Chickens ‘unlock allergy secrets’
“Scientists have turned to chickens to help them understand why some people are struck down by severe allergies.”
I always suspected chickens were a lot more intelligent than we gave them credit for.
Gary Larson where are you when we need you most?